Another really vivid memory comes to mind when I think of my journey as a mother. With my eldest child, we have dealt with several problems, both behavioural and physiological, and it certainly hasn’t been the blissful experience I was promised. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from my mother, when she said “throw that damn book away, your child hasn’t read it yet”, and never a truer word was uttered. I listened to her and I just adapted my style of parenting as I went along. I didn’t know that if any child would test a mother and force an adaptive approach, it was Megan.
As a little girl Megan had the rather peculiar habit of licking everything within reach. It was really most embarrassing, we would walk through the supermarket and behind me my child would be running her tongue along the shelves, trolleys and promotional merchandise. More than a few people looked at me strangely but I decided to ignore it for a long while. Then we had an incident where her tongue got stuck to the freezer in the frozen foods section and only after much screaming and wailing, and intervention from store management with a jug of warm water, I decided I had to put a stop to this. She was also 6 years old and a bit big for a habit like this.
So, I explained everything about germs and dirt and the generally unhealthy situation she was creating. As can be expected, she wouldn’t listen and the habit continued. But, I’m patient and my moment to strike eventually presented itself.
During a monthly shop, I was contemplating a new washing powder and discussing the price with hubby. From the corner of my eye, I could Megan’s rather acrobatic tongue doing the rounds on the shelf at her height. As most of you know, the shelves in the washing powder aisle are littered with actual soap powder from broken boxes and she licked a few grains of this. I saw her, quite clearly, smack her lips while she tasted it, lick it again and then pulled on my pants leg.
“Hey mom, what would happen if you ate washing powder?” I didn’t skip a beat.
“Oh, you’d die of course.”
“Diiieee? Why?” was the anguished reply.
“Well, you see, the washing powder gets into your brain. And then it fizzes up there a bit and it actually melts your brain, which then comes oozing out of your ears.”
Silence from my hip region, but I could hear heavy breathing. “What’s wrong sweety, did you eat…Oh my god! What’s that coming out of your ear???” This was just too much and she screamed hysterically and burst out crying.
“I’ll never do it again mommy, I promise, please fix it, please make it stop melting my brain!” She wailed inconsolably. I couldn’t help it, and just burst out laughing before I explained that she would be just fine with an urgent dose of milk and an early night in bed.
It probably wasn’t my proudest moment as a mom, but it certainly was the most effective!
lol, ‘Whatever works’
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